What do you think about being a friend with benefits ? Does it compromise your self respect ? Does it make you seam easy ?
How do you know when you are just a friend with benefits ? - Is there a discussion that takes place to let you know you've made the grade physically but yet you're not good enough to be his Girlfriend ????!!!!
Does it really hold true BENEFITS ? There has to be more pleasure to being alive than just sex (I keep telling myself : ) ) Isn't there ?????
Just think of us/him as a talking vibrator Amuse. You have a need,they serve a purpose...so use them. Detach yourself from any emotions, just think of you,for a change,and pleasure yourself.
Aries... I keep trying to tell myself that your behavior is not your fault, that your penis makes you behave this way... :-\ but I can't think of a man as being just a penis... especially if he is a friend of mine!! Just like I hate it when men think of wom more...
Quoting: Originally posted by ariesram
Just think of us/him as a talking vibrator Amuse. You have a need,they serve a purpose...so use them. Detach yourself from any emotions, just think of you,for a change,and pleasure yourself.
Aries... I keep trying to tell myself that your behavior is not your fault, that your penis makes you behave this way... :-\ but I can't think of a man as being just a penis... especially if he is a friend of mine!! Just like I hate it when men think of women as just pu$$y. We are, every one of us, human beings with psychological needs as well as physical, I don't care who you are or what atrocities you brag that you are capable of. I would rather be content with rubbing one off now and then than have another attempted "detached" sexual relationship. There is a reason casual sex is referred to as "meaningless"... For some reason I doubt our definitions for it are the same. less...
Used to always have friends with benefits, suited me and them and thought it was not doing anyone any harm.
In recent times I have had to rethink this. I think for me it has in a way shielded me from looking at myself, at my needs, and the walls that I have built around me.
Now this is a cognition in progress, as the more I look at it the more I am learning about myself.
Quoting: Originally posted by ariesram It's like being married...but without the fights.ha! You're there for each other, when needed! That's it really. Wheather they want help with shopping, decorating, sex, money,someone to talk to (sex isn...
Well guess YOU are a lucky man then Ariesram....dont NEED any more than that do YOU? xx
You have the fun without the headaches.
Well maybe I can see the benefits of this type of arrangement now too.
Quoting: Originally posted by ariesram It's like being married...but without the fights.ha! You're there for each other, when needed! That's it really. Wheather they want help with shopping, decorating, sex, money,someone to talk to (sex isn't the only reason you see each other) like i said, it's like being married. I treat them with respect,and get treated the same.
Sometimes, when you have more than 1 F'buddy,you can't always drop everything and go see them,when needed...but that's rare. They have a man in their life to take care of things anything, and i have a woman. It's possible to be F'buddies, then, for whatever reason,the sex stops, and you're STILL friends. Sex, is just part of a Friend with Benefits friendship.
Well guess YOU are a lucky man then Ariesram....dont NEED any more than that do YOU? xx
You have the fun without the headaches.
Well maybe I can see the benefits of this type of arrangement now too.
Quoting: Originally posted by curveymom Hi! I've had a "friend" on and off for about 19 years now. Took a few years off while I was married and living very far away, but are back at it again. The only reason we didn't get married w...
I am too demanding. I can't have one of those. It's all or nothing for me. A couple of times I have tried to fool myself into thinking I could do it, but they were huge mistakes only because I, personally, can't handle it. more...
Quoting: Originally posted by curveymom Hi! I've had a "friend" on and off for about 19 years now. Took a few years off while I was married and living very far away, but are back at it again. The only reason we didn't get married way back when we started was because I wanted kids and he didn't. Not really something you can compromise on. He's now married to a lovely woman and they have an Open relationship. She has a friend as well.
He is one of my best friends and pretty much the only man in my life who has never ever lied to me. He loves me for me, just the way I am at any weight. He loves his wife too - just differently. The three of us are all very happy with our arrangement and she and I hang out when he's out of town. (Nothing going on between me and her though! ;-) )
I'm going through a rather nasty divorce, so he's there when I need to rant and vent. It's not just about the sex. We're so far beyond that point it's not even funny. Sometimes we just watch our favorite movies and eat ice cream on the couch. Some times we spend hours discussing books we've read or movies we've recently seen. The sex also involves a lot of communicating as well. It's like visiting with your best friend, and having multiple "O's" at the same time.
One friend pointed out that I have it quite good.....all the benefits of a relationship - sex, affection, friendship, love, excitement etc. but none of the bad/boring stuff - picking up his clothes, cooking his food, putting the toilet seat down, arguing, needing space, getting annoyed at the little things.
On the other hand, we both realize that if I was to meet Mr. Right and he wasn't interested in an open relationship, the we'd just go back to being "normal" friends. We've done that in the past depending on other people in our equation.
Well...that's my 2 cents.
I am too demanding. I can't have one of those. It's all or nothing for me. A couple of times I have tried to fool myself into thinking I could do it, but they were huge mistakes only because I, personally, can't handle it. less...
Hi! I've had a "friend" on and off for about 19 years now. Took a few years off while I was married and living very far away, but are back at it again. The only reason we didn't get married way back when we started was because I wanted kids and he didn't. Not really something you can compromise on. He's now married to a lovely woman and they have an Open relationship. She has a friend as well.
He is one of my best friends and pretty much the only man in my life who has never ever lie more...
Hi! I've had a "friend" on and off for about 19 years now. Took a few years off while I was married and living very far away, but are back at it again. The only reason we didn't get married way back when we started was because I wanted kids and he didn't. Not really something you can compromise on. He's now married to a lovely woman and they have an Open relationship. She has a friend as well.
He is one of my best friends and pretty much the only man in my life who has never ever lied to me. He loves me for me, just the way I am at any weight. He loves his wife too - just differently. The three of us are all very happy with our arrangement and she and I hang out when he's out of town. (Nothing going on between me and her though! ;-) )
I'm going through a rather nasty divorce, so he's there when I need to rant and vent. It's not just about the sex. We're so far beyond that point it's not even funny. Sometimes we just watch our favorite movies and eat ice cream on the couch. Some times we spend hours discussing books we've read or movies we've recently seen. The sex also involves a lot of communicating as well. It's like visiting with your best friend, and having multiple "O's" at the same time.
One friend pointed out that I have it quite good.....all the benefits of a relationship - sex, affection, friendship, love, excitement etc. but none of the bad/boring stuff - picking up his clothes, cooking his food, putting the toilet seat down, arguing, needing space, getting annoyed at the little things.
On the other hand, we both realize that if I was to meet Mr. Right and he wasn't interested in an open relationship, the we'd just go back to being "normal" friends. We've done that in the past depending on other people in our equation.
Well...that's my 2 cents. less...
If it suits both parties then that's great, but if either one is "settling" for the friends with benefits situation when they'd really like more you're on a hiding to nothing!
We're all consenting adults so it's down to us to do what is right for us - what is right for one might not suit the next at all.
Just be yourself, maintain your personal standards and values and no-one gets hurt. (Yeah I know, if only was that easy!)
Well....I thought that I could do the friends with benefits things but I just can't.
I tend to let my emotions get a hold and I get attached and emotionally involved. I think that if a person has no problems doing this emotionally then it's great for them as it satisfies a need. I just need the whole package.
Friends with Benefits hmmmmmm. Part of me (and you know which part) says that its the best thing invented. But its not. Unless all you want is sex.....and yes I do have those times too. But I can't have sex without the emotion, the connection that knowing I belong where I am. I have discussed it a number of times and I can't do it
Its a thought of someone always looking for someone else....while at the same time moaning my name the night before. No thank you
Not really a benefit - a temporary crutch to fulfill a need until you realize that the need is truly not being filled.
But to be honest - sometimes better than nothing depending on where your life is at the moment.
Been there - done that - bought the tshirt.
To me friends with benefits is like Being in a state of emotional flux you are neither in in love or out of love.(MORE LIKE LUST AT FIRST THRUST and we will see what develops.) No commitment. Not for me. I want the whole commitment enchilada.Because if I am going to invest myself emotionally in a
commited personal relationship. I want a good chance that my investment will bring high dividends.Leading ultimately to a merging of our lives as One.Not bust my hump just for an option to merge!
I like having friends with benefits. Have never had an issue with it. Most of my friends that I engage in sexual relationships with are comfortable with the situation as well. At times I don't always feel it necessary to persue a relationship other than one with the fun fringe benefits.
I hardly think having sex with a person makes one easy or deflates self esteem if outside of a "standard" relationship. I enjoy sex, I love all aspects of it and I don't feel the need to have to have more...
I like having friends with benefits. Have never had an issue with it. Most of my friends that I engage in sexual relationships with are comfortable with the situation as well. At times I don't always feel it necessary to persue a relationship other than one with the fun fringe benefits.
I hardly think having sex with a person makes one easy or deflates self esteem if outside of a "standard" relationship. I enjoy sex, I love all aspects of it and I don't feel the need to have to have a "formal" relationship in order to get my needs met. It is more common for women to equate sex with relationships, love, etc. and I realize that is a difficult boundary to cross. It is nice to have a closeness with someone but on the other hand, it's nice to just enjoy the moment for what it is as well. less...
I figure my beneifts are more like a 401K retirement account. I put alot into it, and I expect to reap results for the long term. I want the best return for my investments and take a long time deciding where I want to put my pennies. I don't consider my benefits to be a "pay it forward" type thing. My accounts will not yield a return, unless I have invested a great deal in them, so to speak. I may be a bit of a prude now, and I might have to sacrifice with my contributions, seeing more...
I figure my beneifts are more like a 401K retirement account. I put alot into it, and I expect to reap results for the long term. I want the best return for my investments and take a long time deciding where I want to put my pennies. I don't consider my benefits to be a "pay it forward" type thing. My accounts will not yield a return, unless I have invested a great deal in them, so to speak. I may be a bit of a prude now, and I might have to sacrifice with my contributions, seeing as how I could use those funds right now, but I think I will "know" when it's time to CASH IT ALL IN! (LOL!) less...
