I've been talking to a brilliant g/f of mine. She just opened by eyes to something that I might have known but forgot since I've not had a relationship in nine years.

Men MUST be NEEDED. When women do for themselves men pout.

Isn't being wanted MUCH better than being NEEDED????????

Tell me NOW LOL LOL

Aimee

I had to bring this one back out since I just went thru this. I wanted to be wanted, if she needs me then I can handle that too, but if I am needed but not wanted I am not a lover, I'm a male ho being paid for what she needs with what I want. I know my ex needed me for the past 8 months she still does since she has no money and doesn't want a job but it was when she stopped WANTing me that things went down hill. Bottom line- It is ok to need a man but only be with one you want too.---Tom

I don't know which is better. I only know what is best for me. And what is best for me is that I need the love of my boyfriend. I need to know that I can depend on him as much as he depends on me. And the dependence is not for tangible things such as money, a place to live, a ride to the store either. I need to know that I have his love and that he knows that he has mine.

The thing about it is that we don't have to tell one another all the time that we love one another. The thing is t  more...

I don't know which is better. I only know what is best for me. And what is best for me is that I need the love of my boyfriend. I need to know that I can depend on him as much as he depends on me. And the dependence is not for tangible things such as money, a place to live, a ride to the store either. I need to know that I have his love and that he knows that he has mine.

The thing about it is that we don't have to tell one another all the time that we love one another. The thing is that we show one another that we love each other.

That is what works for me. less...

I posed your question to my fiance. He says he prefers to be wanted rather than needed. He likes my independence.

Hi, Just as women are different types, so to are men. Some like the needing(such as I'm a helpless so and so without you), and others prefer women who are more independent, yet they want you. And there are times when both can apply, on either side of the gender line. I prefer want myself.

Quoting: Originally posted by Dirkdig Ladies,,you miss the point,,the question wasn't about you, it was about men. YES, we need to be needed,,,we need a job to do,,,a goal to reach,,that is how men think. Give me a job to do so I can show you how much I care and want to take care of you.

My, my, my, I am actually impressed by your post for once...kudos. I would agree with your assessment as well. I think women tend to forget that the male mindset is different from the female mindset.  more...

Quoting: Originally posted by Dirkdig Ladies,,you miss the point,,the question wasn't about you, it was about men. YES, we need to be needed,,,we need a job to do,,,a goal to reach,,that is how men think. Give me a job to do so I can show you how much I care and want to take care of you.

My, my, my, I am actually impressed by your post for once...kudos. I would agree with your assessment as well. I think women tend to forget that the male mindset is different from the female mindset. And, that the more we learn about the other gender as a whole, the more enjoyable life can be. less...

I think independent men would prefer to be wanted, whereas a more emotionally dependent person might prefer the need. I think I would prefer a man that had a little of both in mind, but I think that's gonna be hard to find!-_True

I think every man is different.....some may want to be needed while others prefer to be wanted and some desire both. Just the same with women I suppose.

Ladies,,you miss the point,,the question wasn't about you, it was about men. YES, we need to be needed,,,we need a job to do,,,a goal to reach,,that is how men think. Give me a job to do so I can show you how much I care and want to take care of you.

Quoting: Originally posted by aimeefla I've been talking to a brilliant g/f of mine. She just opened by eyes to something that I might have known but forgot since I've not had a relationship in nine years. Men MUST be NEEDED. When women do for themselves men pout. Isn't being wanted MUCH better than being NEEDED???????? Tell me NOW LOL LOL Aimee

I don't know how to answer this. Everytime I being to write something I change my mind about it. Maybe Quadesh has the ri  more...

Quoting: Originally posted by aimeefla I've been talking to a brilliant g/f of mine. She just opened by eyes to something that I might have known but forgot since I've not had a relationship in nine years. Men MUST be NEEDED. When women do for themselves men pout. Isn't being wanted MUCH better than being NEEDED???????? Tell me NOW LOL LOL Aimee

I don't know how to answer this. Everytime I being to write something I change my mind about it. Maybe Quadesh has the right of it, there must be a balance between the two... Perhaps this is why marriages do not work out anymore... Men and women have both gained a sense of independence that so strongly governs the way we live our lives that we don't feel the need to stick around when the going gets' tough.

Growing up as I did, with the abusive father, I can tell you that I was raised resenting men and the role they play in my life. I was totally into needy men who wound up being TOO needy... and believe me, that is a dangerous relationship to be in.

Perhaps, these days, we regard needful men with apprehension because it's a show of vulnerability. Some, like me, would appreciate some vulnerability from the opposite sex... others (like my sister) think it's a show of weakness, and are therefore turned off.

Boy have I gotten way off topic here. I believe the question was MEN needing to be needed. Well, I think they want both. Needed to feel validated: of some worth to someone, and wanted to feel as sexy as their EVIL PENIS' lead them to believe they are. :-) less...

Must one always chose one from another? Can't there be some sort of ebb and flow, a balance (albeit it a delicate one) between want and need; as well as dependent and independent? When did these things become such an issue with people? At times I think that the only thing that women's liberation has done is enable us to work in and out of the home. I am not being glib or cavalier towards the women's movement. I realize the rewards I have reaped through the women that have come before me.   more...

Must one always chose one from another? Can't there be some sort of ebb and flow, a balance (albeit it a delicate one) between want and need; as well as dependent and independent? When did these things become such an issue with people? At times I think that the only thing that women's liberation has done is enable us to work in and out of the home. I am not being glib or cavalier towards the women's movement. I realize the rewards I have reaped through the women that have come before me.
I am comfortable with who I am, who I was, and who I am yet to be, yet I can also emphatically say that I do want to be needed as well as wanted. I just haven't decided by how many!!!
Qadesh less...

I most definitely want to be wanted, but I guess I am an exception here, because I also want to be needed. Not needed for the housework or to raise kids or pay bills or any of that stuff.

But I like to think that he needs me in his life to make his world right. Needs my love and support to come home to at night. Needs me to fulfil NEEDS that no one else can. The need for love, acceptance, comfort, hope, touch.

I know that I need HIM for those same things. Could I survive without it? Maybe.  more...

I most definitely want to be wanted, but I guess I am an exception here, because I also want to be needed. Not needed for the housework or to raise kids or pay bills or any of that stuff.

But I like to think that he needs me in his life to make his world right. Needs my love and support to come home to at night. Needs me to fulfil NEEDS that no one else can. The need for love, acceptance, comfort, hope, touch.

I know that I need HIM for those same things. Could I survive without it? Maybe. I have done for a long time. Could I LIVE without it? Don't think so.

Needing someone is not a sin. less...